A long time ago... in a land far away... I was raised by a pack of teenagers on ponies. They were a wild and rotton bunch. They smoked, trespassed, stole apples from orchards and carrots from gardens... all for the sake of the pony tribe. By the time I turned 7, I'd already been in trouble with the law and when I turned 13, after a woebegotten heartbreak over the marriage of Nick Rhodes of Duran Duran to a uber model.... I decided to make a change. Since, I have dedicated myself to making others happy. Myself above all. And I know now, that British keyboard players and highly overrated... and probably gay anyway.

Boneless Chicken Breeder

Laughing at the English, Mimosa drinking, Making the world safe for one ended ponies, fighting crime, helping the repressed find their true inner children and rehabilitating wayward farm birds